Today is Julia’s 8
th birthday, her ‘golden
birthday,’ to be celebrated in China in unusual and unfamiliar
circumstances. Julia is always
hyper-focused on her birthday, and more so this year. It is likely that while she has a good day, it won’t feel
‘golden’ to her because she will be missing home and family and all the
paraphernalia that makes a birthday celebration. I am confident, though, that when she is 16 and 26 and 46,
and reading over these letters, she will feel that a trip to China was the
ultimate golden birthday present.
Julia woke up at 5:30 am, silly girl. We dressed and started the oatmeal,
impatiently waiting until someone at home skyped us, as we were saving the
present opening until there was an audience. At last we made contact, and Julia plunged right in. She was
pleased with her loot; thank you to friends who planned ahead and mailed a
package here! With birthday candles for the cake—hurrah! And, for a golden birthday, Elinor has
found a new born golden tabby kitten to be Julia’s very own kitty! A kitten which is actually kitty
Sasha’s brother, if you can believe it.
Happiness everywhere.
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| Much excitement about starting the present-opening! |
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| Carefully opening one of the Playmobile presents |
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| Julia showed every gift to Abe, Elinor, and Dad at home, through the computer |
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| Excited about a gift from friends back in South Bend! |
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| Julia showing her new pandas to the family |
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| Julia reading one of the Thomas family's favorite birthday stories, "It's My Birthday" |
[Funny story:
Julia asked principal Chris to fix her hair for her in the middle of the
day. She needed her pony tail put
back in, and the comb placed properly.
Chris said to me, “What about me makes her think that this is something
I’d be good at?” We both had a
good laugh at the whole scenario, of Chris as hair stylist. He has been so attuned to whether Julia
is comfortable and settled at the school; I am appreciative of that in the
middle of a busy time in the semester.]
The girls gave Julia their presents right at the beginning
of the day—too much excitement to hold in until 3:30 pm. They were generous and thoughtful in
their choices (apparently one resisted a Barbie; thank heavens!). Later in the day, Ms. Alice
orchestrated a birthday cake moment, with candles and singing.
This has been a welcoming group with whom Julia is pretty happy. They are a mixed group—Alex won’t be 8
until next March; Jessica won’t be 8 until December; Sunny is 10—learning
English a little later than some of the others; Maci has been in the class
since February, Julia for one month—I give Ms. Alice a lot of credit for
creating and maintaining a real sense of community and a coherent program.
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| Julia and Jessica opening presents in the classroom |
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| More friends gathering around |
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| Julia, Maci, and Sunny with birthday supplies! |
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| Happy Birthday, Julia! |
On a sidebar note:
we took the six 3s and 4s outside for a walk in the Sculpture Park which
is right next to the school, and in doing so, we had a classic Chinese/American
moment. The park is big, with lots
of plaza and sidewalk spaces, really nice with lovely and interesting statues,
like an elephant and some almost abstract crabs for children to climb on. But the aides just couldn’t permit the
kids to run around the space. Their
concern was safety—would a child get away from the group and get hurt. I give them full credit for being
focused on the well being of the children. I didn’t even try to present the other picture—of happy
children chasing each other in open spaces, getting exercise and fresh air and
laughing and experiencing a successful social time. It would only have created an unbearable tension for them
between their obligation to ‘obey’ the teacher and their strong cultural need
to protect children from non-existent troubles. I had had an earlier experience of this in
fact: Matteo’s mother brought the
teachers a big box of chocolates since it is his last day (the family is moving
to Beijing). The aides needed to
notice this gift with a gift of their own, of an appropriate level of
recognition. I immediately said,
the card that we made with the children is perfect in that it is a genuine
gesture from the children to Matteo.
That in no way satisfied their cultural sense of the appropriate thing
to do! I tried to backpedal, but
there was no erasing what I had said, and I am ‘authority.’ I felt bad! But I also believe that
this French mother didn’t need a concrete object she would have to pack! A photo of the class with hearts
colored by 3 year olds is perfect!
(right?!)
I managed to take only 410 photos of the day! The next event began at
3:30—party! We gathered the girls
and headed out and up the boardwalk, toward the tiny amusement park at Marina
City (our favorite shopping destination!). The girls had a wonderful time on the boardwalk, going down
to the level closest to the sea, hopping up and down the slope, climbing the
railing, racing with one another.
They were full of energy and blueberry muffins from a mother. They received numerous amused looks from
the bystanders, which was generous of them, as they were loud! The Chinese really do love
children!
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| A group of girls! |
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| Off they go! |
We went straight, so to speak, to the amusement park, and
began with the large ‘bouncy’ slide structure—a huge success. They played tag until they were
thirsty, tired, and dirty (is the slide covered with urban dirt?). During this event, I ‘negotiated’ the
price with 4 Chinese men. There
were no visible signs naming a price nor any visible ticket booth—what to
do? I said that 200 yuan was too
much to pay for 2 rides, they offered 3, I tried for 4 but they held tight at
3. I may have overpaid a bit, but
not much in the scheme of things.
And, they allowed the girls to stay on the bouncy slide for an endless
long time. They rode the rides,
and then tried out the bungee trampoline thing. This was surprisingly successful! They all look like they are having fun, and each girl was
actually able to make it ‘work, ‘ even Julia who is the smallest by far.
The Slide:
There is a definite leader among these girls, and she has a
trusty sidekick who is eager to reach leader status but not so eager as to
engage in a battle for dominance.
They are vocal, active, competitive, and oblivious to their impact on
others. I wondered if this would
create any problems for Julia at an event at which she ought, by rights, to be
the leader. It’s so not in her
personality, though, to lead! On
the other hand, she is blossoming a little! And one way she showed that today
is that she waited for the 4th girl every time that girl was slow to
tie her shoes or stopped to re roll her pants legs. She notified the other two regularly, “wait!” So she asserted some control and didn’t
need to engage in any battles of her own for the mantle of leader; good for
her! And probably good for the 4th girl, to have a partner and not
be the odd man out in a threesome in the classroom.
Possibly the best event of the day was the bumper cars: they worked easily, they moved pretty
fast, they bumped satisfactorily, they beeped a lot, and the girls got to ride
in them a good long time. Plus,
they were cheap! We would have
done them again if the rides didn’t close at 6 pm. Julia actually insisted on getting the color car she wanted
and on driving the car she chose (they were sharing cars)—maybe a new element
of personality will develop during this 8th year! She looks excited and happy.
We moved straight to the bumper boats—and a good thing, as
it was alarmingly close to 6 pm!
This was a more low key, mellow activity but one which they
enjoyed. And again, I think they
got an extra measure of time—the rides weren’t busy and they were obviously a
‘party’ of happy girls—that must have touched some Chinese sensibilities!
Bumper Cars:
And Bumper Boats:
Dinner was primarily from Subway, with some Mc Donald’s
fries as chasers. The girls were filthy
dirty from contact with all that dirt! No one seemed to care. We brought our trays to the open air
courtyard, in the basement, where more than half the tables held smokers! Ah well. Dessert came from a yoghurt place, just like “Let’s Spoon”
so everyone was happy. The girls
sat in their own booth and laughed and talked—just like high school girls!
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| Dinner at Subway! |
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| A little jumprope break after dinner |
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Frozen yogurt birthday dessert!
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Julia tried to negotiate a play date this evening with Sunny
(they suggested doing homework while watching a movie!) Instead, when we delivered her to dad
via a taxi, we discussed the possibility of a play date tomorrow or
Sunday. Everyone seemed good with
that; it would be nice to have one or two play dates between now and June 30th,
just to give Julia a sense of normalcy.
So many people are leaving on June 16 for holiday travel; we have to
promote the acquaintance with those who are staying!
Julia seemed to have a really good day; in the ride home in
the taxi, she sagged against me and named the high points (bumper cars, a
kitten, the bouncy slide). We came
into the apartment through the hill, which was jumping at 7:30 pm! And skyped with Maggie, Dad and Elinor,
and the Nijims—such a luxury of birthday love! Tired as she was, Julia was compelled to arrange her new
playmobil while she talked! Demonstrating that she is still only 8!
Heading to bed, I picked her up for a birthday hug, and was
struck by both her growth—long legs!—and her status as my baby—she is still
very huggable. These 6 years with
Julia have gone very quickly in many ways. She was a far more introverted person 5-6 years ago. Mia told me today that while we were
shopping together last Saturday, curious shopkeepers asked about her, and noted
that the happy smile on her face told them that she is a lucky and happy
person. Mia used a Chinese phrase, one that means something like ‘is blessed
with happiness’ –we are all blessed with happiness from the advent of Julia in
our lives. Happy 8th
birthday, baby!
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