Friday, June 29

The last day at QAIS—hard to believe.  The aides and I found reason to get tearful 3 times during the day!  We feel bonded; Sabrina said, “we are friends.”  They have been beyond generous and sweet.  I will  be eager to know if Sabrina has a child, if Mia finds a satisfying teaching position.  I hope we can find a meaningful way to stay in touch.

Julia wore her new dress and tiara to school; all the staff ohed and ahed at how beautiful she looked; they loved the connection to Alex.  I made her change out of it, though, when she began to watercolor with the 4 year olds. 

Princess dress at QAIS!

The watercoloring class

                            

We began the day with rain that had started at 10 pm and continued through the day.  No umbrella, but the vendor by the city bus stop pressed her umbrella on the princess (note the shoes).  The sea was fogged in and tumultuous most of the day.  We couldn’t see anything beyond the edge of the seawall; fitting, in some way, to ease our way out of Qingdao.  So our last time for walking the boardwalk happened without our knowing it; as too our last view of the lighthouse and the Kite Flying Park.  Perhaps it is for the best; we enjoyed it free of emotions.

Princess with the borrowed umbrella!

As a final goodbye, we were invited to dinner at a Korean barbeque restaurant—Lily, the head/owner of the school had hoped to be back from Beijing to host the gathering but alas she was unavailable.  Instead, we were accompanied by Sabrina, Mia and Ms. Gao, who runs the business end of things and was a big help to us several times.  She brought a gift from Lily, a set of two dishes for sauces that have Qingdao landmarks painted on them; we visited both these places last Saturday! A kind present to remind us of this adventure.

The Korean food was delicious! Different than last night’s Chinese feast; both were so good in their way.  This food was more vegetable oriented and had lighter sauces.  There were many small dishes—typical of Korean restaurants.  Lots of these were ‘salads’ with vinegary sauces that tasted quite good to me.  Curiously, all of these small dishes were ‘free’—one only pays for the meat to be barbequed or noodle  dishes or soup.  Note the huge fish soup pot—this was spectacular, with a number of Qingdao fish/shellfish in it.  The broth was so good!  Also, I had my own order of ‘bim bap’ which comes in a hot stone bowl with the ingredients layered in.  The diner stirs it quickly when it is placed before her, to cook the veggies and the raw egg, and mix the bottom layer of rice with all these ingredients.  It was quite good—some of the rice formed a crunchy layer.  But it was hot and made me sweat!  Good for winter.  The meat being cooked right at the table, on a grill, is dipped in one of several sauces, placed on a lettuce leaf, with slices of garlic and grilled mushroom and perhaps some rice (or anything from the many small dishes), and then wrapped and eaten in one bite (ideally!).  There were quail eggs, cabbage salad, other marinated mushrooms, iced ‘sour’ cucumbers (one drank the ice water later!), spicy kimchee, tiny tiny tiny fish with peppers (they were chewy but delicious), cold noodles with cold beef and cucumbers and pear slices—well, it went on  and on, and it was quite tasty. 

Our many, many, small dishes

Meat cooking in the center of the table

Shelves next to the table with tools and a dish cooking

Julia's shot of the group eating

The huge fish soup pot!

Mama's bowl of bim bap - very hot!

Julia ate almost none of it—had rice and the requisite Sprite.  I will give her credit for trying a few things; and for being a good sport for 1 ½ boring hours (no Alex tonight to be entertaining).  She took some of the photos and danced around the slowly filling restaurant, showing off her dress.  We talked a bit about the experience we’ve had; Ms. Gao was very kind in her compliments to us for what we ‘did’ here at QAIS.  She asked if Julia ‘likes’ China; what a challenging question!  She’s too little to have that kind of impression.  But she liked things that happened here, and people she met, and she now has a concrete identity for the word China—all worth the price of the ticket! 

We all agreed that we will be back; and they were kind to say that we have roots here, a place to come back, people who want to see us.  We all agreed that the next stage is to be more integrated into Chinese families—Ms. Gao said she will have us over, even though she speaks no English!  A generous offer.  Sabrina had already offered to have her mother cook her special homemade dumplings for us when we return.  It’s funny that we have moved to a new level in the last week or so—so many ways of explaining that.  Maybe it was safer to reach out to us when one wasn’t committing to months of relationship.  Who knows?  Giving a gift to Alex may have shifted our relationship; gift giving is a significant act in China.  I gifted the aides today, and possibly ‘inappropriately’—although I believe that they understood and appreciated my gesture.  Sometimes you have to follow your own customs, even when you can identify that they are in contradiction to the local customs! 

Julia conducted her own mini flowering of a relationship this week, with Jim in my class.  He caught on to and enjoyed playing BINGO and Go Fish (with cards I bought back when Maggie was 3!) and Julia was willing to play with him.  They ran and chased at recess, and she plotted to nap on the bed next to his today!  She then gifted him with a little toy she had bought yesterday; something that he was intrigued by.  So she made her last couple of days more interesting than they boded to be. 

A funny story from last week I forgot to tell:  On Saturday, as we headed out to the city bus, I could hear a traditional band playing in front of a shop at the community across the busy street.  I looked to see if it was an occasion of some sort—it was, certainly, the Dragon Boat Festival weekend, so maybe that was the explanation of the music.  On Sunday, as we again headed to the city bus, we found a traditional (the same?) band playing at the bottom of our hill.  I took some photos; they were playing traditional instruments and the music was interesting to listen to.  Then I was approached by a young man speaking a bit of English.  Through him, I was able to learn that this band had been hired by his group to attract a crowd so that they could market Korean style toilets, which are Western, and come with computerized bidets!!  It was so hilarious; not at all the romantic and cultural purpose that I assumed!  The toilets on display were pretty spiffy, too! 

The band

Some of the musicians up close

A fancy Korean toilet!

In some ways, this epitomizes our experience.  Fascinating, informing, and also quixotic and incongruous.  China presents many examples of having one foot in the early 20^th century and the other in the early 21^st century.  The ladies at dinner talked about the differences between contemporary China and the China of 30 years ago (before 2 of them were born).  China has, as we all know, been on an incredibly fast track; even 10 years ago, things were quite different.  These toilets are of interest because most families still have squat toilets in their homes.  

How does China move forward with grace and also inclusion—bringing all the people with them, not just a handful of higher--ups who are getting incredibly rich.  Both sets of dinner companions wanted to know how Americans see the average Chinese.  I think the answer to that is that we have yet to identify the average from among the huge mass.  There’s a bridge to be built there, so that we can see each other as something more than just ‘the other big power’—China is Maggie planning a good future for Alex by enrolling him in good schools and buying him an apartment; China is Mia who wants to be able to be ‘open’ in her connections with people, not slotted into a rigid social schema; China is Sabrina who does not want to emulate her mother’s parenting techniques; China is Mickey’s mother seeking advice on how to raise contemporary children in an international world; China is person after person telling me ‘thank you’ for Julia’s place in our family; China is various and nuanced in ways that we are so apt to ignore.  China is, I hope, real for Julia in all its variety, something she can own if and when she wants to.

We are heading home; ‘Djay jenn’ Qingdao, and ‘ni hao’ South Bend!

(Happy birthday Luca; can’t wait to see you!)